And it took forever before my heart started beating again and we didn't really say much more for the rest of the trip, and Cait put her phone away. And then we arrived and Cait's mom gave the eulogy together with her other sister who was her twin sister, and they both cried a lot when they did.I really like Cait's mom, she's so nice and I felt so sorry for her and I even cried a little too and Cait cried more and I tried to keep the thoughts away but they came anyway, about all the things Cait's mom got to do to her dad every night and all the things he did to her and yes of course I was envious about that but I could picture it all in my head until I was really horny while everyone was sad and I felt like the most horrible person in the world.Then there was a reception after the service and I didn't know anyone there so I just kinda stood alone in a corner most of the time eating from the fruit trays, especially when Cait started chatting with some boys and girls and I think she just. Colorful. Her long blonde hair was a waterfall of softness and her hands were steady as she touched me during our second kiss. Her fingers were light and caressing, bringing me more pleasure than had she been making love to me with her whole body. I drank in her lushness, her giving, her generosity. I hurt so much inside for wanting to make her mine. My desire made me greedy and I started asking questions. I wanted to know her. I wanted to know everything about her. I wanted to flood my mind and soul with knowledge of her. And so I asked…once, twice, three times. I hungered for every corner in her soul. And my craving only increased with each word she spoke, each detail she shared. But I didn’t know then that in those moments that I was losing her. She stated, rather than asked if I were falling in love with her. I probed that too. Did she want me in love with her? What made her think that I was? Did she feel the same way? She didn’t understand that I was afraid to say yes, and.
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